missing my friends

i really have no clue. my main point for writing this is to speak on friendships i have messed up in. why does it smell so funky in this room? really, it smells strange. i'm a much better friend than i used to be, although i still suck. but i remember judging, i remember pushing things, i remember being jealous. i remember, in essence, using my friends without intentionally trying to do so. but i was also stuck in a world i do not wish to ever go back to. i'm embarrassed by my mistreatment of my friends in the past. i'm constantly evolving into...somebody. who was i then? who am i now? i get to choose who i'm going to be. i don't get to choose what happens to me. i get to choose who i'm going to be. i have chosen to do wrong in the past, but i am trying hard not to choose that for the future. i don't like the way things have been. i am slowly shedding all of the skin i was in. i am slowly divorcing myself. sometimes we must do this to discover our true identity.

:)

so i'm deciding to write because i just found out that two very cool people who also happen to be my college friends have a blog on blogger! i'm just randomly going to write what's going on in my life, eighth grade-style. i'm embarrassed already.

um, summer school. it has been enjoyable, i just officially met this cool guy in my college algebra class named Eddy, and found out that he has also heard Alanis Morissette's cover of "My Humps." i don't even know why i'm in this class. baylor does not even offer college algebra. i need the math refreshment...i'm getting a C in this class or something.

my english ii/composition ii class is aight...my prof keeps it krunk, but we have essays due every week so that sucks. not gonna lie though, the prof is great. i mean, we talk about hilary clinton and frankenstein in there!

i've been talking to this boy who goes to oklahoma university, it's been fun. although i've recently started a trend of unintentionally making myself sick when i like a guy...strange things go on in my brain. i basically get to the point where i have trouble even eating. it's happened with two or three guys.

i haven't practiced violin since the last time i practiced, which was at the end of last semester. i'm glad. i'd actually like to burn that piece of crap. can't wait to play next semester!

um, i've been listening to kanye west and de la soul and talib kweli. i've been listening to tobymac's live CD/DVD literally every day. i'm still formulating my white girl plan to overtake the rap community. maybe just the christian rap community.

i really wish this guy named Frances from nigeria would stop calling me. oh why did i give him my phone number??

¡Mexico!

So I think this is the best time in Mexico I've had so far. I've been to Oaxaca three times and Cuernavaca once. The group from the university in my hometown is small and compact...they're all muy padre and I like them. I get sick everytime I come to Mexico. Of course, I think I'm still paying for what I did to my body this entire semester in college. I'm never doing that again. I was getting sick the last few days of the semester, and I only had two or three days after I left school before we left for Mexico. I didn't get as ridiculously sick as I should have because my sister bought me some good preventive medicines and I slept the entire day before going home to pack my things. Anyway, I came down with illness before we were one week into our Mexico trip. I've been sick since Friday, when I became really tired, my whole body ached, and I could feel a fever coming on. Advil is from God, but it wears off. I have spent most of the past two days in my bed, so tired and feeling so weak and helpless. Quite an odd feeling to realize how weak you are. But dang, the view from my window is awesome! We spent most of the first week at the seminary in Xoxo, now we are all with different families in their homes, and next week we are going back to the seminary before we return to Tejas. I have my own room in this house! I love the view, especially at night! We are on the mountains, so you can see all the lights from the houses and things. I am going to take pictures, so I will post those on here. I think my understanding of Spanish is getting better...this has been a great trip so far, except for the sickness.